In which I expose the new me

I turned into three new people yesterday. First, Snoopy McNeighborson. I was looking outside at my sunflowers when a run down, ratty truck pulled up across the street. An even rattier looking man got out of the truck and walked around to the passenger side. It was at this point that I scooched down on the couch and hid behind two of my cats to watch this man. He fiddled around in his car then popped up with a straw hat on. He then walked across the street by first walking down the middle of it. I couldn't see where he went, what with being all crouched down, hiding behind two cats. He left a few minutes later as I popped my head up above the furry goodness that was sitting on the back of the couch. It wasn't until I left for class a little while later that I realized he had probably gotten a flyer for the rental house down the way. They are charging way too much for that little house. I don't know why the owners think they can get that for that house in this economy. People can be so silly.

The second person I turned into was Ugly Shoe Wearing Eccentric Professor. All of my oh-so-cute Converse sneakers had mud caked on them so I was forced to wear a pair of Chacos to class last night. I simply could not stand the pain of even a simple pair of flips any longer. And I have cankles all of the sudden. Honest to god cankles. So, I am now that weird female prof you had in college who wore really ugly shoes. I really didn't think my body would force me into that rule for another year, maybe even 16 months, at least. Maybe I could just lose weight. Yeah! then I'll get one of those chilipepper things on Rate My Professor! Or, you know, not.

The third person I turned into was Old Person Who Constantly Has Food on Shirt. On Wednesday it was mustard, last night it was diet Dr Pepper. As soon as I got on the road to class, running late because I was watching the ratty hat man behind two cat asses, I spilled Dr Pepper all down my shirt. It was a special moment. Since I was already running late I couldn't go back and change, so I had to head to class in a white t-shirt with brown stains and fugly ass shoes. God, I hope I didn't smell, at the very least. The day before I had dirt on my toe because I had decided to pull some weeds as I was heading to my car. The dirt, naturally, came from my dropping those weeds right on my foot. But I didn't notice it until I was in the middle of a spiel about why philosophy is valuable. Lost my train of thought completely.

So, let's tally this all up: I am now a Snoopy McNeighborson in Fugly Shoes and Dirty Clothes who may or may not smell like compost tea. You want to be me, don't you?

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